You drop a book on your desk. Next to that, you have your laptop open, to several articles, all about the same subject: lucid dreaming. The book is a spellbook about dreamwalking, which is essentially the same thing, but with magic. Dreamwalking is Harmony magic due to its mental aspect, which you're not capable of. There have been attempts to come up with Void-aligned versions of it, mostly with limited success. You're hoping you can fill in the blanks with some of this research on lucid dreaming.
You don't know if this is going to work. You know you have to try something, though. You can't just tolerate the Voidheart waking up on its own and giving you constant nightmares about your... ...cousin.
You refuse to be a prisoner of your own past. So you're going to figure something out, dammit.
You spend hours researching dreams and how to control them, both the magic and non-magical methods. Lots and lots of reading and note-taking later, you think you have a plan. That night when you're preparing to go to bed, you do something you've never done before.
You let out a breath. You pull down the collar of your night shirt. You look down at the Voidheart, its surface currently darkened....you give it a single tap and it wakes up, all the lights inside coming to life.
You get in bed. Not too long after, you're falling asleep.
...
...
...
...
Dimitri is standing on an empty street. It's night time. Rain is falling on him. He has a hood, but he's not pulling it up, so the rain is just falling on his hair and face. He's staring across the street at a building. It looks like a store that's closed for the night but his eyes are locked on it, unwavering. He eventually brings up his hand and his breathing quickens. Purple sparks crackling around his palm and travel up to his fingers. He makes a fist. His breathing quickens further and he takes one step towards crossing the street --
"Dimitri."
He stops. He looks up, his eyes wide. He looks around.
"Dimitri. Right here."
You do something you haven't been able to do up to this point. You reach out and touch his shoulder. He looks down at your hand. Then at you. His breath catches in his throat, like he's seen a ghost.
"Nnn. Nessa?"
"Yeah," you say and give him a little nod. You can feel the rain hitting your face now, too.
"What're you doing here?"
"...looking for you, mostly." You look across the street. He does too.
"I have to go--"
"Go in there and break in to the secret room in the basement, get into a shootout with a bunch of criminals operating outside the Order's purview, steal their Spark, kill one of them while you're trying to escape, so you can take the Spark back to Lilith, even though you don't want to do any of that?"
Dimitri stares at you, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.
"How do you--"
"I've seen this one a few times," you say, sadly. You reach out and grab his hood, pulling it up to cover his head. "Why don't you come with me this time instead?" You take his hand and without waiting for an answer, you walk away with him. You walk down the street and turn a corner - you're suddenly in Manchester on a street corner you visit every day on your way to work. You guide him into a building and sit down at a table. You're inside your favorite hibachi restaurant and two bowls of udon are being placed in front of each of you. He's looking around like he has no idea what's going on. You give him a tap on the shoulder and a smile.
"Just go with it."
"I don't understand." You let out a breath. Well, you guess you owe him some explanation. Might as well be the truth.
"....I just got tired of having nightmares. Not because they were bothering me, but." She looked at him. "I was sick of seeing the messed up things my mind was doing to you."
"So I'm...just a dream of yours?" Dimitri asks. You give a little nod. "....huh." He looks down for a few seconds.
"I really wish you weren't," you say, softly. "I...really miss you." You put a hand on his hand. He turns his hand around and clasps yours. He keeps looking down, a pensive expression on his face.
"Honestly...maybe that's fine. If I'm just your dream then that means. I'm not actually doing any of this stuff for Grandmother. Which means the others aren't going to get dragged back just to fight for her." He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "That's kind of a relief, honestly."
"If there was a way to bring you all back..." You take in a breath. You dab at your eyes a bit with your hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry all of me. Bloody hangs-up and survivor's guilt wound up manifesting in a way that sucks so much for you." And Dimitri actually lets out a low, wry laugh.
"Well. If I'm just a dream of yours, it'd be pretty weird if I didn't forgive you, so. Apology accepted, I guess." He looked around. "Now that you're here, I don't have to go back to that cave where Grandmother is, do I?"
"Are you kidding?" You scoff. "I've already mastered the art of dreamwalking - after just one night of trying, no less!" You wag a finger. "No, no, no. We've broken free of the curse of my subconscious guilt. We're having a night on the town, now!" You stand up from your seat and take his hand again. "Come now. I believe our limousine to the red carpet premiere is waiting outside."
"....limousine?" He asks, quirking an eyebrow. "Red carpet?" You grin at him.
"You should've listened when I brought up the outside, before. You've got a lot to see."
You won't wake up for a good several hours. For now, you're sleeping soundly in your bed. For now, at least, you're content.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
voidhearts) wrote2023-01-23 07:50 pm
03
You drop a book on your desk. Next to that, you have your laptop open, to several articles, all about the same subject: lucid dreaming. The book is a spellbook about dreamwalking, which is essentially the same thing, but with magic. Dreamwalking is Harmony magic due to its mental aspect, which you're not capable of. There have been attempts to come up with Void-aligned versions of it, mostly with limited success. You're hoping you can fill in the blanks with some of this research on lucid dreaming.
You don't know if this is going to work. You know you have to try something, though. You can't just tolerate the Voidheart waking up on its own and giving you constant nightmares about your... ...cousin.
You refuse to be a prisoner of your own past. So you're going to figure something out, dammit.
You spend hours researching dreams and how to control them, both the magic and non-magical methods. Lots and lots of reading and note-taking later, you think you have a plan. That night when you're preparing to go to bed, you do something you've never done before.
You let out a breath. You pull down the collar of your night shirt. You look down at the Voidheart, its surface currently darkened....you give it a single tap and it wakes up, all the lights inside coming to life.
You get in bed. Not too long after, you're falling asleep.
...
...
...
...
Dimitri is standing on an empty street. It's night time. Rain is falling on him. He has a hood, but he's not pulling it up, so the rain is just falling on his hair and face. He's staring across the street at a building. It looks like a store that's closed for the night but his eyes are locked on it, unwavering. He eventually brings up his hand and his breathing quickens. Purple sparks crackling around his palm and travel up to his fingers. He makes a fist. His breathing quickens further and he takes one step towards crossing the street --
"Dimitri."
He stops. He looks up, his eyes wide. He looks around.
"Dimitri. Right here."
You do something you haven't been able to do up to this point. You reach out and touch his shoulder. He looks down at your hand. Then at you. His breath catches in his throat, like he's seen a ghost.
"Nnn. Nessa?"
"Yeah," you say and give him a little nod. You can feel the rain hitting your face now, too.
"What're you doing here?"
"...looking for you, mostly." You look across the street. He does too.
"I have to go--"
"Go in there and break in to the secret room in the basement, get into a shootout with a bunch of criminals operating outside the Order's purview, steal their Spark, kill one of them while you're trying to escape, so you can take the Spark back to Lilith, even though you don't want to do any of that?"
Dimitri stares at you, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.
"How do you--"
"I've seen this one a few times," you say, sadly. You reach out and grab his hood, pulling it up to cover his head. "Why don't you come with me this time instead?" You take his hand and without waiting for an answer, you walk away with him. You walk down the street and turn a corner - you're suddenly in Manchester on a street corner you visit every day on your way to work. You guide him into a building and sit down at a table. You're inside your favorite hibachi restaurant and two bowls of udon are being placed in front of each of you. He's looking around like he has no idea what's going on. You give him a tap on the shoulder and a smile.
"Just go with it."
"I don't understand." You let out a breath. Well, you guess you owe him some explanation. Might as well be the truth.
"....I just got tired of having nightmares. Not because they were bothering me, but." She looked at him. "I was sick of seeing the messed up things my mind was doing to you."
"So I'm...just a dream of yours?" Dimitri asks. You give a little nod. "....huh." He looks down for a few seconds.
"I really wish you weren't," you say, softly. "I...really miss you." You put a hand on his hand. He turns his hand around and clasps yours. He keeps looking down, a pensive expression on his face.
"Honestly...maybe that's fine. If I'm just your dream then that means. I'm not actually doing any of this stuff for Grandmother. Which means the others aren't going to get dragged back just to fight for her." He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "That's kind of a relief, honestly."
"If there was a way to bring you all back..." You take in a breath. You dab at your eyes a bit with your hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry all of me. Bloody hangs-up and survivor's guilt wound up manifesting in a way that sucks so much for you." And Dimitri actually lets out a low, wry laugh.
"Well. If I'm just a dream of yours, it'd be pretty weird if I didn't forgive you, so. Apology accepted, I guess." He looked around. "Now that you're here, I don't have to go back to that cave where Grandmother is, do I?"
"Are you kidding?" You scoff. "I've already mastered the art of dreamwalking - after just one night of trying, no less!" You wag a finger. "No, no, no. We've broken free of the curse of my subconscious guilt. We're having a night on the town, now!" You stand up from your seat and take his hand again. "Come now. I believe our limousine to the red carpet premiere is waiting outside."
"....limousine?" He asks, quirking an eyebrow. "Red carpet?" You grin at him.
"You should've listened when I brought up the outside, before. You've got a lot to see."
You won't wake up for a good several hours. For now, you're sleeping soundly in your bed. For now, at least, you're content.